My daughter's 13th birthday is today. I remember that day as miraculous and other-worldly. After 9-months of growing a human being whose little foot was apparently caught in my ribs all that time and who must have also housed a space heater in utero; hours of that indescribable pain in parts I hardly knew existed; prayer after prayer about an earlier test that might have indicated a birth defect; and a hope for a child whose life would be laced with faith, hope, fun, freedom, love...here she came!
As cliched as it may sound, birthing a baby and then navigating all that follows is core-shaking and absolutely the loveliest tip of God's power in this mess of humanity.
When I was around 13 and I started the wonder of a woman's path toward the ability to reproduce, my dear Nanny (my grandmother) referred to said monthly occurrence as "the curse of Eve!" Until I had my children, I agreed. Of all of the advantages men may have here or there (I'm no Gloria Steinem, but let's not kid ourselves), this is a unique gift to women.
On the other hand, some of the most remarkable women I've ever known have not been on the delivery table. My step-mother is a better mother than I could have devised with all superhuman resources. I have aunts and friends who have exhibited caring and inexplicable selflessness that have nothing to do with a uterus or a birth canal.
As for my daughter, I have found these last 13 years miraculous and filled with awe.
I read once that having a child is like having your heart then walk around outside your body. I know that's true. I also remember a great sentiment from Erma Bombeck who extolled the virtues of letting your children overhear you complimenting them. Also quite true.
My girl is everything I wanted to be: confident, smart, athletic, charismatic, funny, mature, beautiful, grounded. And all THAT she gets from a gene pool, the grace of God, the grandparents, relatives, friends, her brother, and even her parents who shake their heads every day with wonder and thank God that she popped out on that magical day 13 years ago.
Birthdays are as much for the birthed as those who surround the birth and the life created with love and support. I'm grateful beyond measure.
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