On the Ground

September 27, 2017


I spent part of the past couple of days at the funeral events of the father of one of my dearest friends. This man was a legend in his community and in every area of his life. He was truly a giant among men. 

His daughter is a wonder to me. She is the truest of friends and the kindest of people.  She is one of a kind. Just like her dad.

If you are a real friend, the pain of your suffering pal is yours. I would rather take on the hurt of someone I love than watch them suffer. Such is the case in these recent days.

I grew up in the mire of grief and funeral dinners. That's not martyrdom, that's just a fact. None of the difficulty of loss nor the ceremony of it are new to me. But I never cease to be amazed at how the raw evidence of this particular pain takes me aback. People matter. When they leave, there is a void that sometimes seems impossible to fill. 

The Bible tells the story of Job, who was the godliest of men, and from whom everything but his soul is taken. He had three friends who sought to help, but they were out of their depth. Job 2:12-13 says "When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great was his suffering."

That has long been among my favorite Biblical nuggets. Sometimes you just show up. (Granted, friends also urged him to curse God and die, but that is not the good part of the story, folks.)

I think of all the people who have been there for me in my many moments of need. And I selfishly think about being the kind of person who warrants that kind of care. But I also think about being the kind of person who gives it. 

Loss ironically requires so much from those left behind. I am grateful for friends who I know would wait silently for me and have.  

I want to be the person on the ground. We all need support like that. From the ground up.