HoHoHo

December 18, 2017

When Mom died, Swad (my pastor and dear friend) and Dad delivered the news to my brother and me together. I could be remembering it all wrong. I was just within a month of my fifth birthday, but since I've thought about that day about every day since then, I think I might be spot on. 

There are many layers to what happened when Mom died. I think the most interesting nuggets, though, are what happened in the wake of her death. 

Some things I won't say here. Some people don't appreciate my sharing. I get it.

She died on January 20. I have no memory of a Christmas or a birthday with her. 

But I do know that my stepmother, Nyds, took one for the team and did a family Christmas with her husband's dead wife's family every year. She did it. For us. 

The holidays. Wear. Me. Out. But when I think about what Nydia selflessly did for years, I know that I can find somewhere the strength to power through.

Swad navigated my tortured family through it all. And his beautiful wife, Betts, did the same. They have suffered loss as horrific as mine. But guess what? We all still laugh. We all still find a way.

Merry Christmas, folks. Every day I realize we are stronger than we knew. But as difficult and awkward as it may have been, I'd give my left non-existent nut for another Christmas with Nanny and Nydia. 😂😂😂

HoHoHo, sweet friends. All my love.