The Champ

May 27, 2015


Today is the 20th wedding anniversary of a very dear friend of mine. Much made this wedding memorable, not the least of which was the black and white gingham bridesmaid's dress I got to wear (and about which I gave the bride enough grief that disinviting me from the wedding--let alone the altar--was definitely warranted). But our friendship was one that never quaked over minutiae. 

Shauna was a few years older than me, but we had become close when I was in middle and high school. In my estimation, she was the most fun and the coolest pal; and since she was older, the cool factor was amplified. She was the best.

When she left for college, I was bereaved. But I still have the mountains of letters she wrote me (back when pen and paper and postage were the lifeline). I don't know if she has kept the miles of endless adolescent angst I penned to her. I know she could have dropped her young friend but she kept me close. It meant the world to me.

It was my freshman year of college when Shauna and my other best friend Sarah came with the news that Shauna was pregnant. The pregnancy was the result of actions far contrary to Shauna's consent. We sat in my dorm room and faced with her the biggest choice of her life.  In heroic fashion, Shauna chose the life of her unborn child. Her bravery during that time still astounds me. She embraced her reality with characteristic smiles and faith. I watched, awestruck.

In August of 1993, I stood with her mom, sister, and close pals outside the delivery room and heard the first newborn cries of a miraculous little girl. An hour or so later, those of us not postpartum crossed the street to a convenience store to smoke cheap, nasty cigars in honor of this new life and our dear friend's courage.

Ashton became the accessory to most of our subsequent outings: we wanted Shauna's life to roll on and Ashton was her life. I remember being astounded that one of us could have one of those and then keep her alive. I wasn't even twenty. The whole thing was an eye-opening miracle. And Shauna was a total champ. That's all there is to it.

It was nearly two years later that Shauna married this wonderful guy who had been there during her pregnancy and thereafter and loved Ashton as his own. So on this day in 1995, it was more than any ordinary wedding. And I got to be right there. It was an honor.

Ashton has grown into a gorgeous replica of her beautiful mother. Shauna and Craig had a baby boy, too. They live in Texas now, and we keep in touch now and then. But the wonder of true friendship is that--when we do see each other--it's as if not a moment has passed. 

I'm grateful for Shauna showing me that sometimes you just have to nut up and deal. When I look at this pic today, I see a friend who made those years some of the best of my life...and who managed to get me into black and white gingham gown with puffy sleeves. That, my dears, is friendship.